 Help gang!
There's a baby in the house |
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What goes ho, ho, ho, thump?
Santa laughing his head off. What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on a head, I'll hang around. Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they'd look silly in anoraks. What noise to kissing hedgehogs make?
Ouch. What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees. What is the longest word in the world?
Smiles - because there is a mile between each s. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
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HI gang, guess what's happened to me? I've just got a baby
brother - worse luck. Wesley Widmer, he's called, and he's a
right messy, noisy, smelly, little boy pants.
I thought Mum was just getting fat but then she explained that
she had a baby in her tummy! Yuk!
Here's a picture of him.
He's always crying and screaming. He's so naughty I actually
think he is a rattlesnake in disguise. He HAS got a rattle you
know!
Mrs Smith from next door said he was a lovely, bouncy baby but
then she told me off when I tried bouncing him on the carpet!
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I can't believe all the fuss people make of him seeing as
all he can do is cry and burp!
Babies are no fun. Wesley falls asleep a lot and he can't move
around very well and he's got no teeth or hair. You know, I think
he takes after Grandad!
But I'm hoping Wes will grow up to be a famous footballer.
He's good at dribbling already!
If he played for Manchester United he'd get paid thousands of
pounds for every game and we could buy loads of sweets.
But for now I'm just going to have to put up with his smelly
nappies and silly noises. I'm recording his baby chatter at the
moment so that when he's older I can ask him what he meant.
And to get mum's attention these days I've taken a leaf out of
Wes' book: 'If at first you don't succeed, cry, cry again.'
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